a tangled tree

there’s a certain essence to effort. and the lack there of. that cannot be overlooked.

i’ve been thinking about this in the late.

effort and rejection. and how these two mingle as a constant pair.

i’ve never been one to fear rejection. i don’t like it. it’s not pleasant. but i don’t fear and avoid it as i see many people do.

i like to think of rejection as a sting. more than a burn or a break. a slight reminder of our humility. but not so scary as to avoid what we’re hoping for all together.

when we’ve been rejected, it means that we cared enough to try. it means we put ourselves out there in a way that exposed our hearts. our vulnerability. our selves.

but when we let our fear of rejection prevent us from trying, we aren’t just losing our chance, we’re also saying that this fear of rejection is more potent than our hearts.

and it is for this reason that i believe the more hurtful feeling to be had is that of the other person. the person of whom one is avoiding being rejected.

if those around us aren’t willing to chance being rejected. if their fear of dismissal overtakes their heart, the true heartbreak falls upon the person who wasn’t given the chance to care.

and why i say this, is because it takes feeling to go out on a branch. it takes the strong desire of wanting things to be a certain way and caring enough to try to make it that way.

it means that someone cared enough to try. they didn’t let the fear of rejection keep their feelings at bay. they felt that the possibility of something. outweighed every chance of nothing: of being rejected.

and this courage illuminates the strength behind someone’s heart.

if we want something enough, we’re going to at least try to get it. there’s a tipping point for all of us. and if we are too scared to attempt to get what we want, well. maybe we just didnt hit our tipping point.

and if we don’t even care to try? what does this say for the other person? that their heart mattered less than rejection.

and although this contemplation is nothing but vague, i hope you understand the sentiment all the same.

its an honor to hold someone’s heart. regardless of what we choose to do with it.

it shows meaning. and courage. that someone would grace us with the option of either loving them

or not.

the effort and the passion that we put into life. even if it stings. is worth more than any amount of fear that can equally suffocate our way.

but.

the pain that we endure as result of lethargy costs far more than any slight of rejection.

heartbreak because someone didn’t care enough to try, is more devastating than the heartbreak from loving too much.

where one holds life, the other carries emptiness.

and it is for this reason that i will never understand the universal circumvention of rejection.

where i might face a small price for caring, another might come to understand the cold feeling of apathy because i didnt care enough.

and. no matter how hard i try to understand otherwise, the latter is the only fate i can understand fearing.